Developing Leadership Skills Before High School: Tips for Parents 

Developing a foundation for leadership starts early. As a parent, you have a unique opportunity to cultivate essential leadership skills in your child long before they face the pressures of high school. By focusing on a few key areas, you can help your child grow into a confident and effective leader for life. 

Providing Opportunities for Leadership Experience 

Leadership is learned by doing. Offer your child opportunities to put leadership skills into practice in low-pressure situations. 

• Practice Self-Awareness: Encourage your child to think about their strengths and interests. When they know what they're good at and what they care about, they can act with greater confidence and authenticity.  

• Take Initiative: You can help your child find small ways to take the lead. This could be as simple as suggesting a plan for a group project, volunteering to help a sibling with their homework, or even proposing a family activity. 

• Learn to Delegate: Help your child understand that a leader doesn't do everything themselves. During a group activity or a family chore, guide them in trusting others by assigning tasks and supporting their teammates. 

• Embrace Feedback: Teach your child to see feedback as a tool for growth, not criticism. Whether it's from a teacher or a friend, encourage them to listen to what others say and use it to improve their skills. 

Cultivating Responsibility and Initiative 

Leadership is rooted in personal responsibility. By encouraging kids to take ownership of their actions, you empower them to become self-reliant. 

• Age-Appropriate Chores: Assign simple, consistent chores, like doing the laundry or setting the table which teach children the value of self-care and contribution. 

• Encourage Problem-Solving: Instead of immediately swooping in to fix a problem, give your child the space to figure things out. If they forget their homework, for example, let them experience the natural consequences. Afterward, discuss what they could do differently next time.  

• Start Small Projects: Encourage your child to initiate a small project on their own, like a neighborhood clean-up or a lemonade stand.  

Fostering Empathy and Communication 

Great leaders are also great communicators who can understand the feelings and perspectives of others. These qualities are among the most important leadership “soft skills.”  

• Practice Active Listening: Model active listening by giving your child your full attention when they speak. Put away your phone and make eye contact. You can then encourage them to do the same with others.  

• Discuss Feelings: Use family discussions as an opportunity to practice emotional intelligence. Ask your child about their day and encourage them to share their feelings. You can also ask about their friends and what they might be going through, which helps them develop compassion and consider viewpoints beyond their own. 

• Volunteer Together: Volunteering for a cause your child cares about, whether it's at a local animal shelter or a food bank, teaches them to think beyond themselves and contribute to the well-being of their community. Consider volunteer projects to grow and show leadership skills that would be a good fit for your family. 

Building a Growth Mindset and Resilience 

Leadership is not about being perfect; it's about learning from mistakes and bouncing back from setbacks. These are critical college and career readiness skills. These are the skills students need to succeed. 

• Praise Effort, Not Just Achievement: To instill a growth mindset, focus your praise on your child's effort. Instead of saying, "You're so smart," try, "I can see how hard you worked on that project.” 

• Reframe Challenges as Opportunities: When your child faces a setback, help them reframe the situation. Instead of viewing it as a failure, encourage them to see it as a learning experience. Ask them what they learned and what they could do differently next time.  

Modeling Leadership in Everyday Life 

By demonstrating leadership skills in your daily life, you provide a powerful example for your children to follow. The habits you model now will benefit your children in middle school and beyond. 

• Show Humility and Accountability: When you make a mistake, apologize. This teaches your child that owning your actions is a sign of strength, not weakness. For example, if you forget something, say, "That's my fault. Let's work together to find a solution." 

• Demonstrate Emotional Intelligence: Be open about your own feelings in a healthy way. By showing your child how you handle frustration, disappointment, or stress, you teach them valuable lessons in emotional regulation and empathy. 

By focusing on these key areas of leadership, you're not just preparing your child for high school. You're giving them the tools they need to become confident, compassionate, and effective leaders for life.