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Moments That Matter: How Middle School Shapes a Child’s Character

Date:
Friday, July 25, 2025
Author:
Maria Barwegen
Child With Parent

A person with strong character is someone with well-defined values who acts accordingly to those values even in challenging situations. Someone with character generally has a good sense of right and wrong. Character is built, moment by moment, through choices, challenges, and interactions with others.  

For middle schoolers, this process is especially important as they begin to form their own identity, moral compass, and a deeper sense of values, independence, and purpose. Supporting character development during this stage is about helping your child build integrity, empathy, resilience, and responsibility. It’s about guiding them toward becoming the kind of person they truly want to be. What an opportunity we have as parents: to help prepare another human being for life by contributing to their character development. 

Foundations for Building Character 

Character is the set of ethical traits that guide a person’s behavior. It includes integrity, empathy, responsibility, respect, perseverance, and self-control. To build these traits, start helping your child build habits of self-reflection. 

  • Start with core values: Ask, “What kind of person do you want to be?” 

  • Teach through experience: Let life be the classroom. 

  • Celebrate effort, not just outcomes. 

  • Encourage reflection: “How did that make you feel?” “What would you do differently next time? 

  

Model the Values You Want to Instill 

Children learn more from what you do than what you say. Your behavior sets the tone. 

  • Practice honesty, kindness, and respect in everyday interactions. 

  • Admit mistakes and show how you learn from them. 

  • Demonstrate empathy by listening actively and validating others’ feelings. 

Let your child see you living your values, even when it’s inconvenient or difficult. 

 

  

Create Space for Meaningful Conversations 

Middle schoolers are developing abstract thinking and can engage in deeper discussions. 

  • Ask open-ended questions like: “What do you think makes someone trustworthy?” 

  • Encourage reflection on media, books, or real-life events. 

  • Engage in dialogue that invites your child to think critically and express themselves. 

  

Encourage Empathy and Inclusion 

Middle school can be socially challenging. Help your child develop emotional intelligence. 

  • Talk about different perspectives. 

  • Encourage friendships across diverse backgrounds. 

  • Support involvement in service projects. 

Empathy helps children become compassionate leaders and allies.

 

Use Stories to Teach Character 

Books, movies, and theatre can be powerful tools for character education. 

  • Choose stories with strong moral dilemmas or admirable role models. 

  • Discuss characters’ choices and consequences. 

  • Ask your child what they would have done differently. 

Narratives help children explore values in a relatable, non-threatening way. 

  

Support Emotional Regulation 

Character development includes learning how to manage emotions constructively. 

  • Teach coping strategies like deep breathing, journaling, or physical activity. 

  • Validate their feelings without judgment. 

  • Help them name and understand emotions—this builds self-awareness and empathy. 

  

Building character is a lifelong journey—but middle school is a powerful time to lay the foundation. By focusing on values like growth, reflection, and empathy, you’re giving your child the tools to become not just a successful student, but a good human. 

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