Why Middle School Is So Hard: What Parents Need to Know
As you reflect on your child’s elementary experience, you might recall a confident student, happy and no cares in the world. But now, in middle school, you have a moody child who is often overwhelmed and possibly withdrawn. What happened? There are real developmental, academic and social changes happening all at once which makes middle school so hard.
Why is Middle School So Hard?
Middle school has many challenges and students need motivation from us. The most difficult challenge is the collision of both developmental changes and expectations increasing at the same time. Students are going through puberty and experiencing true brain change. We see rapid development both emotionally and physically.
In addition, students’ executive functioning abilities are still developing, causing issues with organization, time management and meeting new expectations they find in middle school. With less structure in middle school and more independence, students fall behind.
Why is Middle School So Hard Socially?
With all the physical changes occurring in our students’ bodies, they also will experience social challenges. Unlike elementary school, middle school students can have social skills gaps which make it difficult to obtain peer approval and friendships. These friendships in middle school can be more complex and unstable. We have also seen an increase in peer pressure and students exploring their identity. These social struggles can cause academic performance to drop and possibly struggle emotionally.
Academic and Emotional Roller Coaster Parents Don’t See Coming
As students enter middle school, they are faced with more teachers, more systems and an emphasis on independence. We push them sooner than they may be ready. Time management becomes a necessity because there is an increase in workload and some projects become larger and span over a longer period of time.
Emotions run high in middle school and often students don’t recognize them. They don’t see that they have mood swings, but you do! Or that they are super sensitive to the world around them creating self-doubt. As their brain develops and changes, they struggle to express their emotions. Be on the lookout to help your child if they show signs of withdrawal or begin to act out.
How Parents Can Help
As parents in these challenging years, we want to be aware and present. Focus on being readily available to your child in times of need. Often, we look at other children at this age and if our child acts less mature, we panic. Some are not developmentally ready to be mature, so as parents, we have to patiently wait.
Practice executive functioning skills, such as organization and time management, with your child. Encourage your student to problem-solve on their own when they run into a situation and stay positive with a healthy growth mindset. Be supportive of their social-emotional growth and encourage them to be more self-aware and give them the tools to build successful relationships.
Remember parents, it’s a developmental transition. There is not “something wrong with them.” Enjoy being a coach and no longer a manager.